How to Shower - Funny, Funny

[reason]

How to Shower Like a Woman (or how to shower like GL)

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper accordingto lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for blemishes, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How to Shower Like a Man


1.Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6 . Wash your armpits.
7 . Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8 . Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
again.
19.Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this email, there is something so really wrong with you!

[gae]

I know we've told you that we have an open door policy around here, Reason, but did you have to post it for all the world to see?

[LAKE]

How to Shower Like a Woman (or how to shower like GL)

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper accordingto lights and darks.
No

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
No

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -make mental note to do more sit-ups.
Yes

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
No

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
No, Suave works just fine.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Sometimes

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
No, conditioner makes my hair flat

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Yes, but not for 10 minutes!!!

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
No, plain 'ole body was does the trick.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
---

11. Shave armpits and legs.
Pits daily, legs once a week.

12. Turn off shower.
of course

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Weekly only.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Yup

15. Check entire body for blemishes, tweeze hairs.
No

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
Bath is right off my bedroom so no need to do this.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Pulease!
-----------------------------------------

THIS SOUNDS RIGHT!!! I like the woo-woo sound!

How to Shower Like a Man


1.Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6 . Wash your armpits.
7 . Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8 . Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
again.
19.Throw wet towel on bed.